a view from the laundry pile…

…it's all about perspective.

Buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

on May 2, 2012

It’s not like I’m trying to do “La salle de bains ballethere, toes on pointe, pirouette into a petit jete’ (on tiptoes, spinning into a little jump) followed by a grande plie’ (deep bend, thighs horizontal, heels release from the floor) on the toilet seat. I would just like to not fall off when I have to reach for something…

I felt for the toilet paper holder, grabbed the end of the roll, and pulled…a whole 1-1/2 squares were left.  Unless you pee no more than 3 drops at a time, have an alternative source (I’m thinking Kleenex, not sleeves or fluffy dogs), or you’re a guy, you’re going to need more. Four squares, minimum, is what’s required for this particular ‘action’ – and it just goes up from there.

Living in a small house, storing things comes with a price. The washer and dryer are in the kitchen, my “art studio” is in the living room, and the toilet paper rolls are kept behind the laundry basket in the corner of the bathroom — about an arm’s length away from the toilet…plus 6 inches, give or take a half an inch.

When you run out of t.p., but don’t notice until it’s too late, this means either having to get up and risk dribbling or leaning way over from what I consider to be a precarious starting point. Since I already have an issue with people who dribble on public toilet seats and don’t bother cleaning up after themselves, I really don’t like dribbling. I feel I have no other choice but to be a leaner. 

However, had I realized that one of the toilet seat hinges was on its last legs I would’ve risked being known as a ‘dreaded dribbler.’  As soon as I was in “full lean,” t.p. at my fingertips, I heard a slight crack.  The seat shifted, slipped off the bowl and, not being able to put my leg out to stop myself (if you don’t understand this, try it the next time you’re sitting there…), over I went. The thud, alone, probably would’ve been enough to get the dogs interested but, I believe, it was she shriek that came with it that really piqued their curiosity. 

Of course nothing, besides my pride, was hurt as I laid on the floor…next to the toilet.  It was, after all, only a 14″ fall.


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